Do you want to play a game?

Let me set the scene for you my dear reader, it's about 7:30am and I have been cleaning for about 2 hours now. So now comes the portion of my morning where I enter an intense game of Tug-of-war. This game has 3 players, Me, and the two dogs. Odin (the male) is about 70 pounds of pure muscle and total lack of intelligence. Delphi (the female) comes in at maybe 60 pounds, and full of so much anxiety that she could probably keep the prosaic company afloat even if everyone in the world stopped buying it.

I have swept and mopped the floors and now I must embark on the journey that is VACUUMING. See the dogs do not like the vacuum. According to Kyle, this is my fault because as puppies I vacuumed around them and they hated it. Did I find it funny? Well yes, their little puppy barks were hilarious as they tried to take on the giant monster that was the vacuum cleaner. But today is another story. Today, it's game on!

So I pull out the vacuum, and of course this is the signal that a game is a foot! The dogs jump off the couch (yes they are allowed up there, mostly because I am power less to move them when they are being stubborn), and storm the machine. But they stop short, unsure if the monster is just being moved, or if it indeed has been sent on a mission to torment them and the house and they must defend their home!

It was the second one by the way, and they were prepared.

I start up the vacuum and the first to strike is Odin. He is the fearless one, the one who will raise the sword and yell charge, head first into battle. He grabs the wheel, making sure to stay away from the mouth of the machine, as it has caught a lip or two in its day, and pulls. Of course, I must match this show of power and yell at him to stop, dragging the vacuum back to where it needs to be to continue the cleaning. I have foiled his first attempt, so a verbal attack follows. For the next 5 minutes, both he and Delphi bark at the vacuum, running up just close enough for the machine to hear the barking over its own noise, but not close enough to make contact. All of the barking has empowered Delphi, she is the next to strike. Being a little smarter than her brother, she comes from behind, grabbing the hose in an attempt cease the suction, and cripple the beast. But I am prepared, I face the vacuum right at her just as she attaches, thwarting her battle plan.

At this point, both dogs have re-evaluated their approach, and have decided that a joint effort is necessary to tame this beast. So at once, they both grab the side of the vacuum and pull. This is where the real game of Tug-of-war starts. I am yelling at them to stop, a verbal attack that is less than effective, they are growling at the machine as it vibrates in their mouth, and Carson is crying because of all the commotion. My headache starts to form, which causes me to become more irritable, a super power that has defeated the dogs more than once. So both dogs pull, dragging the vacuum from the spare room into the kitchen, a pivotal turning point in this game! The kitchen floor being linoleum causes the dogs to lose all traction, and since I am wearing my slippers, I have the advantage! I pull, half running away from the dogs, in order to save my machine, and to gain more of an advantage. I stop in the dining room, facing the dogs down with the vacuum. Again I have the upper hand being on a non-carpeted surface. The dogs show fear for the first time. At this point, Delphi has started her "spin cycle of anxiety," where she runs in a circle trying to catch her tail, only to release it once captured, just to repeat this again. (She does this any time there is even the slightest amount of activity in the house, I mean she will start this when I get up to go to the bathroom, basically, she's a basket case) Odin is left alone in the game, so the stand off begins.

One on one, mano a mano, Me v.s. Odin.

He charges the vacuum in a last ditch effort to win the game. He grabs the machine, and pulls, I pull back. The vacuum has been lifted off the ground, suspended between the two players, but who will win?

I decide to play dirty, instead of pulling, I PUSH, charging at him with the monster. Odin is taken off guard. Unable to gain traction, he "burns out" on the dining room floor, tail tucked and ears pinned as he attempts to flea! Delphi scatters, unable to take the pure pressure of potential loss.

I HAVE WON!

I regain control of the vacuum and am able to finish my cleaning! I turn the machine off and store it away. The dogs have eyes on me the whole time, carefully watching and plotting for the next game!